Tag Archives: love

Advice for Life: From Billy B., Shuttle Driver

2 Nov

In the next 10 years of my life, my age will start affecting me:  Aches and pains will pop up, and friends will start dying.  Billy is, I guess, in his mid- to late 50s, and he talked about being at the point in his life where he’s looking back on his life.  He had just returned from a trip home to Mississippi to visit family and friends.  He spoke about the trip home with such happiness, and was full of smiles.  I asked him if he wanted to move back eventually, and he said “yes.”

He talked about relationships he’s had, and how as we get older, even if it’s difficult, you should try to stay friends with people you’ve dated, even if the relationship didn’t work out.  I’m not really sure how we got on that topic.  He described a recent phone call with a female friend, and how they’d come to an understanding of where things stand with them right now.  “It could come full circle a year from now,” Billy said.

He’s from Biloxi, Mississippi, a place that I visited several times when I was little, with my parents.  I used to love those trips – I remember beignets, the beach, visiting historic places.  I haven’t been back there since I was a kid, but I’d love to return.  I’ve heard that it’s changed, with casinos, even.  And some of those places were trashed due to Katrina and other storms.  Mary Mahoney’s is still there, but I don’t see the seafood place we used to go to on the water.  I also remember going to a plantation and learning about cotton picking, and buying a little sample of cotton still in its shell and taking it home.  Beauvoir may be the one that I’m thinking of, but it looks like (sadly) most of it was destroyed in Katrina.

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White kittens.

25 Sep

In my dreams, last night.
lots of them, or at least enough to submit the topic to memory.

Dream dictionary definitions say:

  • To see a kitten in your dream represents a transitional phase toward independence. You are ready to explore new things that life has to offer. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes innocence and purity.
  • To dream of kittens means new life or new experiences in the future for the good;; a trusting relationship
  • This dream could also suggest that you are somehow feeling disconnected from the more feminine side of your personality.
  • For a woman to dream of a beautiful fat, white kitten, omens crafty deception will be practised upon her, which will almost ensnare her to destruction, but her good sense and judgment will succeed in warding off unfortunate complications.
  • A white cat can represent your feminine intuition and a link with the natural beauty in you
  • If you are allergic and dream of a cat it would signify a negative and threatening reaction to a situation or relationship.
  • To see a kitten in your dream signifies deceit and trouble ahead. If you dream about a litter of kittens, you may be drawn into a social conflict. This dream could also suggest that you are somehow feeling disconnected from the more feminine side of your personality.

The cat or cats were not fat.  I am sometimes allergic to cats, but not very often these days.  I did not dream about a litter of kittens.  An ex-boyfriend used to call me “kitten” as a nickname.

I can’t remember the other part of my dream, but it had to do with the word “lusk” or maybe it was “lux” but I seem to recall a four-letter word.

Lusk is a town in Tennessee and Wyoming.  It’s also a village in Ireland.  And the name of a band.

Having it all: What does that mean?

12 Aug

I’ve never taken a pregnancy test, and won’t have kids at my age unless it’s through adoption or a future boyfriend’s slash partner’s slash husband’s existing kids.  I felt distant from the whole “women having it all” debate from a few months ago because, let’s face it, I am an outlier in many ways:  I’ve never been married, don’t have children and will never “have it all” in the eyes of some people.  Sometimes those eyes are even my own.

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The ties that bind, and do other things

26 May

I didn’t tell my parents about the break-up with J.  I was just getting ready to tell them that I was dating someone, that it was serious, that we’d been together five months, that we’d dated last year and got back together, and it all turned on a dime last month.  I then started thinking about friends I hadn’t told and I started to wonder why I had kept somewhat silent with certain people, and had not told my parents when it was really a happy situation and I was in love.

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Vows, Modern Love & the NYT

17 Oct

I love the Sunday New York Times. I used to feel guilty when I couldn’t read most of the paper and I’d have to dump a massive pile of unread newsprint in the recycling. It’s that Catholic guilt thing again. But then I decided if I was able to read at least one article each week, it would be enough.   I set myself free and continue to enjoy such well-written pieces that amaze me, educate me and make me happy.  Pretty basic, I know … but it means a lot.

Case in point – Sept. 19 SundayStyles section. It had been lingering on my coffee table. Yesterday, I put my recycling project into gear and I’m glad this section didn’t make the cut. The Amy Ryan profile caught my eye at first and I thought it would be good bedtime reading. I then reconnected with Vows, the somewhat elitist weekly column that features a wedding. The Sept. 19 article profiled Ariana Rockefeller (yes, of the Rockefellers) and new husband Matthew Bucklin. Like other Vows features, the Rockefeller-Bucklin story relays a fairytale-like, sweet romance. Love lost, and found again. Missed connections. Long distance trials and tribulations. Love found later in life. You get the picture.

Vows used to be among the first, if not the first section I turned to when I opened the paper. It varies nowadays, and I’m not sure if that is because I’ve grown more cynical in the whole finding-true-love story, still angry at the last guy who broke my heart or if the stories perhaps depressed me because I’m still single. I do still believe in love, for what it’s worth, and perhaps the reconnection with Vows can help me remember that.

That whole “being single” thing brings me to Modern Love, a fabulous column where I hope, one day, my writing will appear.Modern Love essay collection I recently submitted my third essay to editor Daniel Jones and have been rejected twice. It almost still feels like victory to be able to submit a piece.

In that same Sept. 19 issue, there’s a great essay by Seattle-based writer Kathy Harding. I must find her and congratulate her on this beautifully-penned piece, “Diving deep to reach the surface.” Penguins, a chance meeting with a guy at a party … and then, it happens. Sigh. Another good reason and reminder to read the Sunday New York Times. And I haven’t even unwrapped the packaging on today’s issue.