Archive | 2012

Advice for Life: From Billy B., Shuttle Driver

2 Nov

In the next 10 years of my life, my age will start affecting me:  Aches and pains will pop up, and friends will start dying.  Billy is, I guess, in his mid- to late 50s, and he talked about being at the point in his life where he’s looking back on his life.  He had just returned from a trip home to Mississippi to visit family and friends.  He spoke about the trip home with such happiness, and was full of smiles.  I asked him if he wanted to move back eventually, and he said “yes.”

He talked about relationships he’s had, and how as we get older, even if it’s difficult, you should try to stay friends with people you’ve dated, even if the relationship didn’t work out.  I’m not really sure how we got on that topic.  He described a recent phone call with a female friend, and how they’d come to an understanding of where things stand with them right now.  ”It could come full circle a year from now,” Billy said.

He’s from Biloxi, Mississippi, a place that I visited several times when I was little, with my parents.  I used to love those trips – I remember beignets, the beach, visiting historic places.  I haven’t been back there since I was a kid, but I’d love to return.  I’ve heard that it’s changed, with casinos, even.  And some of those places were trashed due to Katrina and other storms.  Mary Mahoney’s is still there, but I don’t see the seafood place we used to go to on the water.  I also remember going to a plantation and learning about cotton picking, and buying a little sample of cotton still in its shell and taking it home.  Beauvoir may be the one that I’m thinking of, but it looks like (sadly) most of it was destroyed in Katrina.

Losing luggage.

30 Sep

The latest strange twist in a dream.  I’m in Europe and maybe even France.  I’m with a large group, and one of those where it seems like there are friends from different timeframes in the dream.  We are ready to head to the airport and our flights are leaving in waves.  One of the group leaders announces my “wave,” and I connect via a wave (different kind) from across the room with the people who will be on my flight.

I’m up in some sort of attic and have to climb through a hole in the floor, using a ladder to get down. I realize after getting to a point where I can’t turn back that my luggage has been left behind by the group.  It happens to another woman, too, though it’s clear that we are the only ones and that seems odd.  I don’t seem too stressed about this, and even though it’s annoying, it doesn’t matter because I’ve somehow packed my clothes in other bags – but what kind of bags, and how would I have some other set of bags with me (apart from plastic) in addition to my luggage? I try to visualize it in the dream.  It’s time to leave and head to the airport.

Dream interpretation:  Losing your luggage or items from your luggage is actually a good symbol in a dream. It is a request to let go of baggage or past issues that you are carrying around. It doesn’t matter in the dream what is in the bags. The bags represent issues that are holding you back.

White kittens.

25 Sep

In my dreams, last night.
lots of them, or at least enough to submit the topic to memory.

Dream dictionary definitions say:

  • To see a kitten in your dream represents a transitional phase toward independence. You are ready to explore new things that life has to offer. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes innocence and purity.
  • To dream of kittens means new life or new experiences in the future for the good;; a trusting relationship
  • This dream could also suggest that you are somehow feeling disconnected from the more feminine side of your personality.
  • For a woman to dream of a beautiful fat, white kitten, omens crafty deception will be practised upon her, which will almost ensnare her to destruction, but her good sense and judgment will succeed in warding off unfortunate complications.
  • A white cat can represent your feminine intuition and a link with the natural beauty in you
  • If you are allergic and dream of a cat it would signify a negative and threatening reaction to a situation or relationship.
  • To see a kitten in your dream signifies deceit and trouble ahead. If you dream about a litter of kittens, you may be drawn into a social conflict. This dream could also suggest that you are somehow feeling disconnected from the more feminine side of your personality.

The cat or cats were not fat.  I am sometimes allergic to cats, but not very often these days.  I did not dream about a litter of kittens.  An ex-boyfriend used to call me “kitten” as a nickname.

I can’t remember the other part of my dream, but it had to do with the word “lusk” or maybe it was “lux” but I seem to recall a four-letter word.

Lusk is a town in Tennessee and Wyoming.  It’s also a village in Ireland.  And the name of a band.

Overheard at the lake

26 Aug

“Daddy, Daddy, do you want a big dog or a little dog?” she asked. Long spindly legs, long brown braids, somewhat desperate in that younger kid manner of getting an adult’s attention.  ”Because golden doodles come in …,” and the conversation drifts away as they pass.

“I just don’t know what to do for me,” she said, with a touch of melancholy. Shorter green athletic shorts, petite, tight white shirt.

“You could do gravel, smooth gravel like they have over here.”  People on bikes.

“So, anyway, what happened to you?”

“When I was on Prozac …”

Having it all: What does that mean?

12 Aug

I’ve never taken a pregnancy test, and won’t have kids at my age unless it’s through adoption or a future boyfriend’s slash partner’s slash husband’s existing kids.  I felt distant from the whole “women having it all” debate from a few months ago because, let’s face it, I am an outlier in many ways:  I’ve never been married, don’t have children and will never “have it all” in the eyes of some people.  Sometimes those eyes are even my own.

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To be busy or not to be. It is a question.

5 Jul

You’ve probably read “The ‘Busy’ Trap” from the New York Times.  Or you’ve seen friends post about it on Facebook.  I’m glad friends posted and steered me to it.  The author, Tim Kreider, made the argument that the new default response to “How are you doing?” is:  busy, crazy busy … a boast disguised as a complaint.  And the standard response to that, Kreider says, is a congratulatory statement.  Awesome!

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The ties that bind, and do other things

26 May

I didn’t tell my parents about the break-up with J.  I was just getting ready to tell them that I was dating someone, that it was serious, that we’d been together five months, that we’d dated last year and got back together, and it all turned on a dime last month.  I then started thinking about friends I hadn’t told and I started to wonder why I had kept somewhat silent with certain people, and had not told my parents when it was really a happy situation and I was in love.

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5 things I learned at AHCJ12

23 Apr

Inspired by Bill Heisel, here goes:

1.  Sometimes, you can go home again.  It’s been several years since I attended AHCJ, due to budget cutbacks when I was at the Univ. of Washington.  With my new job at Seattle Children’s, we each have a small budget to travel, “learn and grow.”

I’m grateful that I had the chance to attend, and reminisced with health journalist Joanne Silberner (former health policy correspondent based at NPR’s flagship in DC) about going to the second AHCJ conference ever, also in Atlanta but held on the grounds of the Emory Conference Center Hotel. A man who I randomly met and chatted with on the plane on the way to Atlanta was floored to hear that she was on our plane; I introduced the two of them after we landed. He said that she was missed and that “we” needed her back on the air.

I remember running around the Emory grounds at that meeting with Daniel Yee, former (I think) AP reporter.  That was back when I was a bona fide journalist.  This time around, I’m in public relations.  I’m a flack, as Scott Hensley said at one of the sessions. (He didn’t mean this in a derogatory way.)

The setting this year  was not so woodsy and definitely “city-esque,” with a Hard Rock Cafe right up the street and places blaring loud music.  I know – I’m a former music critic but even I don’t like loud music, especially when it sounds like karaoke.

Some 600 people attended, which may or may not be a record. It was impressive.  I enjoyed meeting new journos, touching base with journalists I’ve only emailed with of late and seeing former D.C. colleagues like Shelly Gehshan (Pew Children’s Dental Campaign), Bill Erwin (Alliance for Health Reform) and Peter Ashkenaz (HHS).  I learned that Peter is no longer with CMS.  Silly me.  We keep in touch via email and Facebook, and mostly talk about music.  I now know that he’s in the Office of the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology and the meaning behind the windshield photos he posts on FB.  I know that Dan DeNoon of WebMD fame has a cabin in the mountains, with a family of foxes living underneath said cabin.  Andrew Holtz and his wife are moving to a houseboat – not in Seattle, mind you but in Portland, rather.

2.  Social media should be fun.  I went to two helpful social media sessions.  One from Matt Thompson at NPR, which was kicked off with Bonnie Raitt’s “Something to talk about.”  People are talking, talking about people.  Social media is a conversation.  The new goal is to Master the Conversation.   He’s so convincing, he even got Tom Paulson to drink the kool-aid, so there’s got to be something to what he’s saying.  Matt used Ta-Nehisi Coates of the Atlantic as someone who’s mastered the conversation, on race and culture.  He responds to comments on his blog posts, and treats conversations as valuable as his work.

Transform your rolodex into a network, says Thompson. Take the best of it to feed further reporting.  One example – NYT op-ed questioning shaken baby syndrome, doc who reads Commonhealth (site in Massachusetts started by two journalists) says this op-ed is irresponsible, critiques the op-ed.  Story continued on Commonhealth and went back to NYT, made its way into NYT magazine cover story.  Shows the potential benefit.

Re: being fun – this conversation mostly occurred in another social media session with Maryn McKenna, Scott Hensley and Serena Marshall, who said make sure you’re having fun with social media.  If you’re not having fun, take a break and come back to it.  McKenna said it’s okay to be promotional with social media, but if that’s the only thing that you do, people notice really fast and it gets boring. Marshall said for every 5 to 8 professional posts, share something personal.

3. I should take my flipcam with me everywhereMark Johnson, senior lecturer at Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communication at the U. of Georgia, led a helpful session on video, the right way.  He looked rather bookish but kicked off the session by encouraging attendees to vote for his brother’s band, who was in a contest in New York (but we couldn’t actually vote because the contest was closed; they sounded somewhat like the Cranberries).  Johnson said that the audience is not yet ready for video.  But we need to be prepared now.  Five years from now, if you don’t have video, you’ll be crushed by the competition.

Think about video as one component, not the entire story.  The click away rate on videos is stunning.  You have six to 10 seconds to hook someone with video.  85% of viewers are gone in 10 seconds if you don’t have the hook.  Page views are a dying metric.  As technology gets more sophisticated, time on the page is more and more valuable.  Johnson said he doesn’t want music in news stories because it influences the story and can be deceptive.

4.  The ways of communicating with journalists has expanded.  I use Profnet and HARO (Help a reporter out) at work, and recently signed back on to Twitter.  When I was at the UW, I launched the Twitter and several Facebook accounts.  I went through withdrawal when I left UW and started my new job and recently found my way back to Twitter, when I started looking for contact info for journalists and found their social media handles. Maryn McKenna said that social media has pretty much replaced Profnet and HARO for her.  PIOs will see my post, she said.

5.  Coincidences happen. (sung to “Accidents will happen,” by Elvis Costello)  I had lunch rather randomly one day in the hotel restaurant.  I say “random” because I can often be indecisive and what I ended up doing that day could have gone either or any way.   Conference burn-out always sets in for me, and I need some alone time.  I almost bought a salad, again, at the deli and took it to my room to eat.  But I decided instead, quite decisively, to sit down in the restaurant and have something hot, maybe even something with fries.  (Color me bold and outrageous.)  I was way over-teched out at the conference, and immediately looked at my phone – Twitter, Facebook, what’s on my email.

After a few minutes, a man at the next table said, “Mary Guiden.”  It was Harry Joiner, a friend and former grad school buddy that I hadn’t seen in 15 years or so. Un-f-ing real, omfgg type of surprise.  Seriously.  One is a million is how he described it later.  He was meeting with a client who just happened to be at the same hotel, at a different conference.  He saw my name tag, but I’m pretty sure if a few more minutes went by, I would have recognized his voice because it is so distinct.  Harry and I were pretty close in grad school at the Univ. of S. Carolina, even though I was only there for a little bit more than a semester.  He was coming off a punk rock band phase, and he was from Georgia.  He was humorous, sarcastic, goofy, fun and kind.  We were in different language tracks (me – French, Harry – Portuguese), but still bonded.  In one class, I remember Harry sitting behind me and every morning, he’d take a sip of his coffee.  “Aaaah,” he would say after swallowing that sip, and it always made me smile.  It’s reminiscent of a Seinfeld episode, too.

Anywho – it amazes me that I had this million to one meet-up in Atlanta.  I think the Universe, or God, or whoever you believe in was perhaps keeping an eye out for me.  My boyfriend broke up with me shortly before that conference and ever since then, little signs of positivity have been coming my way to remind me that I’m on the right track, that life is good, that it can in an instant bring a surprise like Harry Joiner right to me, to make me smile, to remind me that I’m pretty great, too.  (Thanks for that, Harry).  As he put it:  You look awesome; he (ex-boyfriend) does not sound awesome.  End of story.

Tulle and me.

15 Jan

I want to take ballet lessons, and have been looking into class options in Seattle.

It would be the first time I’ve taken a dance class since I was a kid, but I’ve been inspired by the Seattle dance scene and also after seeing the Trey McIntyre Project at Bumbershoot in the fall.  The female dancers had amazing bodies and legs and I was mesmerized by the movement, dance and music.  Love the collaboration with The Shins, too.

I’ve felt the same inspiration after seeing the Pacific Northwest Ballet and, subsequently, Whim W’him.  So … onward in 2012 to some ballet lessons.  I’ve found two studios in Seattle that are near work/ home and offer lessons for adults – one in the U District (The Ballet Studio) and another in Green Lake (eXit SPACE).

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